The seats I'm watching on election night

Not the ones that matter most, the ones where I'm settling scores

An evocative photo of a polling station from the 2018 local elections.

Election night tomorrow is going to be stressful for me.

Not because I’m necessarily worried about the outcome – certainly at this point I think we all know which team is going to win tomorrow. But because it presents an impossible social dilemma.

On the one hand, I’ve been invited to two election parties. The prospect of watching the results unfold in the company of my friends sounds delightful.

But on the other, there’s a nagging part of me that would rather just be at home, watching the overnight coverage on multiple TVs, sat in front of my ultra-widescreen monitor, scrolling through spreadsheets and tweeting out funny jokes.

And besides, who would want to risk missing great content like this?

My plan for tomorrow then, is logistically tricky. I’m going to try and have the best of both worlds. I’m going to go to one party for the exit poll – and then at around 11pm quickly dash to another party – before heading home at around 1:30am, ready for the endless stream of Portillo-moments we can expect from around 3am.

And getting home on time will be important, as even if I’m having the time of my life interacting with other humans in person, I really do want to make sure that I’m back – because I have scores to settle.

So in lieu of a full-sized post this side of election day, here’s the seats that I’m watching out for. These aren’t the places that will be the most pivotal – you can read Helen Lewis for that. Instead, these are the constituencies where I have beef – real or imagined – and feel like I have a stake in the results.